ryahn: grapewallofchina: ryahn: grapewallofchina: 80% exhaustion 10% sarcasm 20% dont care that’s 110 percent 20% of me doesn’t care should’ve seen that coming
salmiakkivodka: If dudes are expected to have a lot of sex But ladies are expected to stay virgins until marriage But homosexuality is bad I’m really confused who dudes are supposed to be having all that sex with
craplos: ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.
hugh-neutron: hugh-neutron: dont u wish your girlfriend was hot like me dont u wish your girlfriend was a freak like me dontchaaaaaaaaaaaa im going to go to a modelling agency and when they ask for my portfolio im just going to slam these pictures on the desk and leave
theyellowbrickroad: so i was wearing this shirt with these super comfortable jeans all day but something felt weird about them so when i got home i took them off and changed into pajamas and i was looking at the back of them and
WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY IN SPANISH
dimefox: dimefox: so i guess you could say this statue has a fly booty i literally googled “winged butt” to make this pun please appreciate me
run-cause-hitler: enayalate-h8-this-year: bbanditt: slett: winchestercodependency: ibecameacat: what if all your fingers just turned into tongues… like what would you even do dude people with vaginas would have the best time getting off “People with vaginas” what are those called again I can’t remember this is what yahoo payed 1.1billion dollars for
shadowrawrs: strawberrydaydreams: do you ever hate someone so much but you don’t even have a valid reason you’re just like no And then they give you a reason and its like
andthentheresallthisshit: deadgomery: theprinceswilly: nosferpatbu: i just saw this picture of shrek and i’m laughing because it’s as if i’m about to give him a blowjob tears are coming out of my eyes NO NO NO NO NO “That’ll do, Donkey. That’ll do.” OH MY GOD IT GOT BETTER/WORSE
bandbutts: If masturbating while stoned isn’t called weed whacking I don’t know how to live my life anymore
Me: Im gonna have so much fun this weekend!
Me: *masturbates 4 times in a row and passes out*